If the shoe fits…

Shoes are a vexed issue for me. Both my feminist principles and my feet rebel against the idea of wearing heels, for my wedding or any other occasion. Yet there is something of a dilemma involved due to the fact that my fiance is 6’5, and I am 5’3. This could give the wedding photos some unwanted comedy value. One particularly witty friend having already compared us to the Krankees, I am concerned that a wedding photo depicting my the top of my head at approximately waist height next to my smiling husband will bring tears of mirth rather than tears of sentiment to the eye.

I used to wear heels frequently. This may have been one reason why it took me and My Intended to realise the full extent of our difference in height. He was simply taller than me, as most people are to a woman of 5’3. Likewise, for a man of his height, looking down at the top of someone’s head is normal. He just didn’t realise that the top of my head was a few inches further down than that of most people, once I removed my going-out boots. Heels may well have been invented as part of a male conspiracy to make women walk like ducks (see Caitlin Moran for a good description of what happens when women wear heels at a wedding), but they are also a godsend to short women everywhere. A pair of heels can turn a small quiet mousy woman into a tall, firm-treaded Amazon, capable of eyeballing anyone without hurting her neck (until she trips over, at least).

Eventually I realised that the effort of walking in heels, coupled with aches in my calves and back, was making me disinclined to leave the sofa. I discovered the joys of a comfortable shoe in which I could walk for miles; just as empowering as being suddenly tall, but in a different way. A quick search on the internet reveals that I am not the only woman who doesn’t relish the thought of waddling down the aisle in a 6 inch stiletto. Converse have tapped into the comfortable shoe market with a customising service for their shoes. You can walk down the aisle in a pair of ‘chucks’ bearing the legend ‘Bride’, you can buy Swarovski crystal embellished trainers, and Etsy is awash with people offering to embroider Mrs …(insert married name) on your sneakers in sparkly thread. These all look beautiful, but for me this option involves carrying a stool to stand on so that my groom can ‘kiss the bride’. I am not sure that this is a good solution. If anyone has any suggestions, do let me know!

Other than persuading my Intended to shorten his legs, my only option appears to be a pair of platform heels.

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With a pair of trainers in my bag for later…

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